


Mishaps in Butter Icing

by lost_spook



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cake, Cake Fic Meme, Crack, Gen, Partial Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:19:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eleventh Doctor, naked save for a ballgown, covered with butterfly cake, and chained to Clara Oswald.  It's amazing what happens during the course of your average day aboard the TARDIS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mishaps in Butter Icing

**Author's Note:**

> Written from the above prompt courtesy of the [Cake Fic Random Generator](http://www.seasip.info/Misc/cakerpg.html).

“So, that didn’t go as planned.”

“Didn’t it?”

“Well, Doctor,” said Clara, tugging uselessly at the chains that bound them together, “let’s just say that if you _planned_ this, then when we get out of here, I’m never talking to you again.”

“Right. Definitely didn’t plan this. Obviously.” The Doctor started shifting about in the chains.

Clara stared at the ceiling. “What are you doing now? Please, tell me it’s something cunning involving escapology.”

“That’s a thought.”

“Doctor?”

“Well, it’s a shame to let the cake go to waste. Really good butterfly cakes, these. There’s a bit of butter icing on my nose and I can’t quite get it off with my tongue. Trying’s making me go all cross-eyed.”

“I don’t think icing is the point here,” said Clara. “Try the fact that we’re locked up, covered in cake, chained together, _you’re_ stark naked –”

“I’m not! I’ve got this very nice dress. I’d even put it on if we weren’t tied up.”

“Glad to hear it. Anyway, who is the Master and why would he think this is funny?”

“Old enemy. Friend. Enemy. Megalomaniac type. I expect he thinks it’ll help him conquer the galaxy, or just really, really annoy me. He’s getting surprisingly good at cookery, though. Those were classy butterfly cakes. Nice wings, and they’re fiddly, those are.”

“Well, he’s definitely pissed me off, I can tell you.”

“Anyway, as it happens, I _am_ an expert at escapology. Just ask Houdini.”

“Yeah, you’d have to be, wouldn’t you?”

The Doctor tried to give her a reproachful look, but failed, since he’d never quite made it as a contortionist. “Clara. What are you implying?”

“You do get locked up a hell of lot. Usually _with_ your clothes, though. Thank goodness.”

“Right, well, stay very still, Clara – I’m going to slip out of these chains. Won’t take a minute. Well, maybe one or two. Might need some of this butter icing…”

Clara sighed. “Okay. Let me know when you’re done, so I can close my eyes.”

“What?”

“Naked, remember, Doctor? There are some sights I don’t want to see.”

“Oh. I’d forgotten. Does it matter?”

“When I open them again, I expect to see you standing in a ball gown and absolutely _not naked_ , okay?” Clara reflected that that wasn’t a sentence she had expected to be using during the course of the day, even given a trip out with the Doctor. “Once was enough for one lifetime.”

“I’ll try and remember. I mean, there is a lot of cake, so I’m not all _that_ n –”

“Chains, Doctor. Dress. Escape. Punch the Master in the face. Right?”

“Right.” The Doctor wriggled about again and then stopped. “What?”

“Well, do something to the maniac,” said Clara. “I’m not fussed what, exactly, but I’m in favour of physical violence right now. Can’t think why.”

“Tsk, tsk, who got out of bed the wrong side this morning?”

“Who’s the involuntary nudist here? Who got us into this mess?”

“I suppose you mean me.”

“Doctor, you’re a genius.”

The chains fell slack around her, which she assumed meant he’d succeeded and not that he’d been vaporised or something, so she shut her eyes. “Right. Tell me when you’re decent.”

“Ta da!” said the Doctor after a brief moment of rustling. Clara risked opening first one eye, and then the other, and surveyed him critically as he posed in the frilly pink ball gown. It was low cut, but mercifully long in the skirt. 

He smiled at her. “It’s quite –”

“No. It’s _not_ cool,” said Clara. “It just isn’t. Trust me. Better than nothing, though, I’ll give you that.”

“Oh,” said the Doctor, finally getting the butter icing off his nose, now he had use of his fingers again. He licked it, and smiled at her. “Well, come on, Clara, let’s go save the universe!”

“And punch the Master?”

“And _possibly_ punch the Master, but absolutely, definitely stop him burying this planet in cake.” He held out his hand to her.

Clara gave him a stern look, because mortal danger was one thing, getting covered in cake and chained to naked Time Lords was another, but then she grinned and took it. “We’d better hurry, then, hadn’t we?”


End file.
